Emilie Kiser shared a heartbreaking post about the death of her toddler, Trigg — revealing she finds it difficult to allow herself to feel happiness.

The influencer shared her thoughts in a vulnerable post on her Instagram Story Friday, telling her 2 million followers she worked through a 2-hour counseling session, which was “heavy but also so helpful” and focused on “overall emotions and the guilt of sometimes having them.”

She went on to explain … “One of the hardest parts of loss, other than the loss itself, is allowing yourself to feel happy again. Allowing yourself to not have an emotion about every emotion.”

As you know, Emilie lost her 3-year-old son in May after he accidentally drowned in their pool under the care of her husband, Brady Kiser. He was also watching their now 7-month-old son Theodore at the time, and admitted to police he found it difficult to balance keeping an eye on both kids.

Police estimate Trigg was submerged in their pool for 7 minutes before his father found him unconscious on May 12. He died in the Phoenix Children’s Hospital 6 days later. Prosecutors declined to pursue any charges in the case.

As we reported, Emilie announced her return to social media in September, telling fans her life had been “really hard” but that creating content was a positive escape for her.